South Korea’s ‘Netflix Effect’: Why Western Women Head There in Search of Love

(CNN) — Researcher Min Joo Lee found it confusing that young Western women were staying in youth hostels in Seoul.

Unlike their Asian counterparts, these women — mostly in their early 20s — seem uninterested in the typical tourist streets, as she sees them squeeze in as many sights and shops as possible during their stay in the South Korean capital.

Instead, they stay in their hostels most days, sleeping or watching Korean TV shows – only going out after dark.

They came to the attention of Lee, who researches gender and race politics in Korea as a postdoctoral fellow at Indiana University Bloomington, because she was in town to learn how the growing international profile of Korean pop culture could affect tourism.

After visiting eight hostels and interviewing 123 women from North America and Europe, Lee concluded that many were drawn to her country by what she calls the “Netflix effect.”

Korean TV channels have been selling shows like “Crash Landing on You” and “Goblin” with their stars Hyun Bin and Gong Yoo with their beautiful faces and chiseled bodies. They hinted at a world where men would be loving and patient, in contrast to what the women saw as their country’s sexist culture.

The appeal of Korean men

The women Lee interviewed said they felt in touch with their emotions on television and were attracted to Korean men who were willing to embrace their “friendly sides.”

They regarded Korean men as cultural and romantic, complaining that men in their home country often neglected their looks and had a one-dimensional mind.

Grace Thornton, a 25-year-old gardener from the United Kingdom, traveled to Seoul in 2021 and watched the K-drama “Crash Landing on You” on Netflix.

She was surprised that the men on the show didn’t tease or call women on the street like they do in her country.

In her eyes, Korean men are “polite, polite, handsome, romantic, fairytale-like, chivalrous, respectful.” She also said it helps Korean men dress well and groom themselves.

“(English men, by comparison) are half drunk, holding a beer, holding a dead fish,” she said — a reference to the proliferation of fishing pictures on British male dating app profiles.

And the appeal is not entirely about the men.

As Thornton said: “In England, I’m very normal and sound like everyone else. In Korea, I’m different, interesting and foreign. People pay attention to me. I feel special.”

‘International couples’ and professional boyfriends

The popularity of Korean TV shows among international audiences has led to an ever-increasing number of female tourists visiting South Korea.

In the year In 2005, 2.3 million women visited the country — compared to 2.9 million men, according to government data. In the year In 2019 — the year before the coronavirus hit tourism hard — nearly 10 million women visited the country, compared to just 6.7 million men.

At the same time, social media has seen an explosion of couples dating Korean men with foreign women.

On YouTube, the hashtag “#Gukjecouple” (“#InternationalCouple”) has become a genre covering 2,500 channels and 34,000 videos, the most popular of which is a Korean with an American or European partner. Sometimes these videos show couples flirting with each other, playing on cultural differences, and sometimes they simply show couples going about their daily lives.

Among the promoters of this genre is Heo Jin-woo, a Korean YouTuber in Seoul who once made videos of himself pretending to be the viewer’s boyfriend.

The videos show him asking viewers how their day went, as if he were on a video call with his lover, or inviting them to dinner at the newest Italian restaurant in town. He had a sleepy, soft voice with a slight Korean accent and peppered his speech with occasional Korean phrases.

According to Heo, the channel gained 14,000 followers, mainly foreign women in their 20s looking for Korean culture, but closed it after meeting her girlfriend Harriet from England.

Instead, the couple created an “international couple” channel called “Gin and Hattie”.

It mainly consists of videos where they “make fun” of each other based on their cultural misunderstandings and differences.

One video titled “Jealous prank on my Korean boyfriend” shows Harriet wearing short skirts and asking Heo to dress more modestly in front of her.

“Don’t forget to wear your couple rings,” Harriet said before letting him in on the joke and hugging her. The comments below the video — mostly from English-speaking female fans — praise how much Heo now respects his wife.

In the year Their channels on various platforms have more than 3.5 million subscribers, although the couple claims the channel is not for commercial purposes.

Spin money

Hugh Gwon, a YouTube channel management consultant, was one of the original creators of the “International Couples” content.

Creators of couples channels with more than a million subscribers can earn between 30 and 50 million won ($23,000 to $38,000) for each sponsored video, he said.

But the value of the genre goes beyond dollar signs — it’s also about helping couples bridge cultural differences.

Gwon and his Australian wife, Nicola, run a blog called “My Korean Husband,” which talks about traditional marriages and how attitudes toward such relationships have changed.

Nicola says the image of Korean men has changed since she met her husband in Sydney 10 years ago.

During that time, she hears prejudiced comments from her peers that her husband is good for an “Asian man.”

When she googled “Korean husband” after getting engaged, most of the results were horror stories of Southeast Asian immigrant wives married to Korean men. Today, the search offers pictures of Korean celebrities and her blog, with a Quora link to an anonymous user asking how to find a Korean husband.

She says the best “international couple” channels promote cultural awareness, but warns that some only sell looks and illusions.

The truth is, women who are serious about marrying a Korean husband must realize that there will be cultural differences to adapt to, such as long working hours and living in a society known for patriarchal gender norms.

“(In the beginning) you go to the Han River for a picnic, and everything is wonderful and you feel like you’re in a K-drama, but what is the reality of having a family in Korea?” She said.

“temporary happiness”

Unfortunately, some women find that the men they meet are not as perfect as they appear on their screens.

Mina, a 20-year-old Moroccan student, said she was influenced by K-pop and Korean TV shows to come to the southern city of Busan in 2021.

The men she saw on television were described as “respectful, handsome, rich men who would protect you.”

But at night she wandered into bars and was approached by strangers on the street to have sex. She felt that some Korean men wanted to believe that foreign women were more open to casual sex than local women.

“We are temporary happiness,” she added, “Men are men, people are the same everywhere.”

Since then, she has lost her interest in Korean TV shows and does not want to date Korean men.

Quandra Moore, a 27-year-old English teacher from Washington, moved to Seoul in 2017 looking for a partner through dating apps and nightclubs. But she was disappointed.

She encountered racist stereotypes — she was dismissed by someone who told her to “go back to Africa” ​​– and found that many men just seemed to have a desire for sex.

In her experience, Korean men treated foreign women differently. “Why can’t we have dinner first? It’s so hard, you know Korean women are intolerant,” she said.

Lee, the researcher, said that some men feel that they can treat foreign women with impunity, because they feel that they are foreigners and are restricted to small social circles.

However, even those who have had a bad experience are not always spared.

Some of the women who went home upset told Lee that they felt it was their fault that they didn’t find a good man and that they would come back and try harder next time.

“They clearly understand that not all Korean men are[perfect]but they need an alternative to the miserable dating market in their country,” she says.

“They can’t really give it up because they hope there’s a suitable romantic relationship out there somewhere in the world,” she said.