Fashion icon, sex symbol, backup quarterback

Before Georges, before the beard, before the low-key popularity, I was on the Gardner Minshew bandwagon. When Nick Foles went down in the Jaguars’ first two quarters Wait, I was watching. Not because I wanted to, but because I was around a die hard Jacksonville fan – things like M&Ms and talking Santa.

There was a passing ability to him that went unnoticed by NFL defenses. I’m not sure if I felt sorry for my poor Jags friend or just wanted to be a dick and feed into Minshaw mania, but for whatever reason, I started that greaseball in several fantasy leagues and somehow resisted the urge to roll my eyes and shake weight on the old ones to gasp for air.

The latest product of Minshew’s extensive free time is the Prison Bus Mobile Hot Box, a season-long promo. Washington State students have been living for 10 weeks since Brian Fantana’s final performance, and studies show that 60 percent of the time, it’s fourth-quarter practice. It works every time.

Thanks if you made it through all four minutes and 22 seconds of the awesome self-promotion linked above. If I hadn’t been forced to watch it for work, I would have locked it on the acoustic guitar part of the clip. I can’t promise how long that ax will last intact after launching into the same The Mamas & The Papas song for the umpteenth time, but hey, I’d rather listen to Peter, Paul and Mary over and over again than stomp on that petri dish. . Guy is so sneaky that he makes natural valley bars look chewy.

Also, who is the target audience for this montage? Instagram streams that he’s already matched on Tinder? You need a hazmat suit and some penicillin to get within 15 feet of that bus. Do you think the smell of weed permeates the fabric or is it more of a Nag Champa fragrance?

I wonder what Jalen Harts thinks of the mock video he made of his backup. The starting QB’s every mistake is practically being dissected by the Philly media, and Gardner is tearing up bongs, shooting himself commercials and trying to figure out how much weed he needs to smoke to lose his short-term memory.

Part of me wishes the Eagles fans just didn’t have the chills. If this Simpleton was their quarterback, people would be showing up to Lincoln Financial ready to punch anyone with a handlebar mustache.

But good luck for the season, Gardner. You might want to double-check where you left off that mobile biohazard. The people of Philadelphia may not find your act as cute as you think.