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Normally, I’d preface a recap of a reddit/AmITheAsshole post with my own spelling, but I’ve learned too much to be creative with this one. The title alone says it all: “WIBTA because I put my wife on a diet if she wants to travel with me?”
male, what?!
Unfortunately, the original poster looks completely serious. User @FitLibrarian9680 took to the popular subreddit for some unbiased comments on his plan. and received comments.
For context, OP has been invited to teach ESL classes in Japan this fall. He plans to pursue the opportunity and apply for a work visa through the appropriate channel.
“I meet and even surpass his qualifications so I don’t worry about that,” he wrote.But I know that Japan has a different culture regarding overweight people. I’ve started losing weight (30 pounds lost in 3 months!) and I’m getting ready because I want to be accepted into what their community wants.
There may be some inherent fatphobia at play here, but hey, the choices the OP makes about his body are his business. What Redditors have come across is his plan for his wife, who he says “wants to come along [him]But he can only do this with a spouse visa.
“I want you to come with me, she wants to come with me, But I want her to lose weight with me, And if you’re coming with me, I’m not sure I’ll be a TA because I’m imposing a diet,” he wrote. “give away [you] Just an idea, I am currently 240lbs and 6’0″, she is 260lbs and 5’9”.
“I want to tell her if she can get to 200 pounds by Christmas, I’ll let her go with me.” OHDE continued. “I have some rare control over the situation because I have to sign a paper for her to declare me as her spouse on her application.”
There is so much to unpack here. First and foremost: It’s never okay to “impose a diet” on your partner. In fact, by forcing anything On someone you say you love – even under the guise of protecting them – is not love. It is behavior control. It is true regardless of cultural differences.
In the comments, several AITA Redditors called out the OP’s awkward choice of words when describing his “rare control of the situation.”
“A huge giant. That and the ‘come with you’ lines are about his attitude towards his wife and what kind of relationship they have.”
“YTA – YIKES!” Someone else commented. “This is really a scam. Do you really think there are no overweight people in Japan? You two don’t think you’ll get along anyway, you know you’re not Japanese?”
The OP is right about one thing: fat-shaming is a legitimate issue, and it can certainly increase when you travel. Still, that’s no reason to force your partner to lose weight so you can join her on a once-in-a-lifetime adventure.
“To be honest, you see fat people almost everywhere. It’s not right, and it’s horrible, but it’s true. OP is acting like they’re going to burn her at the stake because she’s a little overweight,” said one commenter. “Granted, I’ve never been to Japan, but this seems like a thinly veiled attempt to get his wife to lose weight because he shed a few pounds because he’s the one. I feel for her.”
Another person wrote: “If you love her and care about her, you should want her to come to Japan with you to share this wonderful life experience.” “This is not a bargain. [exert] control over her. If I were her, I would leave you no matter what.
Another Redditor summed it up perfectly: “Wife looks like she’ll lose 240 pounds soon and, unlike the 30 pounds you lost, she won’t gain those back. Of course YWBTA!”
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