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Earlier this year, Nigerian-American Yewande Akinrodoye traveled solo for the first time. Although the 28-year-old DMV technology analyst has visited twenty different countries, she has yet to travel alone.
As the owner of a travel business that arranges trips for other travelers, it’s important for Wande to travel frequently to know the destinations she recommends to her clients. Since she works remotely, she enjoys being able to travel anywhere and still work. But this is not the case with all her friends.
“So I decided to go solo one day and see what happens!” says Wande. “I’ve seen a lot of people talk about how amazing solo travel is and how it allows you to get to know yourself better, so I was like, why not?
It was one of her first solo trips. Thailand And Singapore. Destinations that have long been on her bucket list, she is excited to finally have the opportunity to experience the culture and authenticity of Southeast Asia. She booked her accommodations, planned her activities and bought new clothes, all the while full of excitement.
“But then, two days before my trip, I woke up with a terrible feeling of dread. So many questions were running through my mind: Are you really going to travel alone to two different countries and five cities for a month? Are you sure you enjoy yourself? How do you travel from island to island on your own without any help? Are you going to miss all the activities at home with your friends?“
Her panic attacks often include a racing heart, chest pain, shortness of breath or a tightness in her throat, and sometimes chills. Having experienced panic attacks in the past at crucial times in her life, Wande knew the symptoms and knew that what she was experiencing was due to anxiety and fear.
With so many things that could go wrong, Wanda is worried about her safety in a foreign country as a woman; She was afraid of being raped, kidnapped, or having her belongings stolen, among other things.
I started thinking, Maybe I shouldn’t do this. I can wait until my sister or one of my friends wants to travel with me. After that I called my mother and she prayed for me and told me that I will be fine.
With the support of her loved ones, Wande decides to continue on her planned journey. The first stop on her flight was Singapore. She looked at her beautiful hotel and was shocked again to find that not only was she alone, but that it would be difficult to communicate with everyone she knew after 12 hours.
“At this point, being alone on another continent really started to sink in. I actually started to cry and find myself, What am I doing here? Why am I traveling alone? This will only be four weeksHe said.
To calm herself down, Wande thinks about her love for travel and remembers why she started traveling in the first place to discover a new culture and meet new people. Often referred to by her friends as a social butterfly, Wande enjoys meeting new people and making connections during her travels.
“Having said that, since I paid a lot of money for this trip, I had to quickly snap myself out of those tears. I asked myself. What is the reason for my tears? What am I doing crying in a beautiful country, in an amazing hotel with an infinity pool? Because I feel lonely? How can I not meet them in a hotel where there are people everywhere? And there are lots of fun activities I have planned.. At that point I forgot about the loneliness and got back to business. Sometimes you just need to remind yourself of all the things going on around you.
Wande found that getting out of the house and meeting others helped her overcome her fears and feelings of loneliness. Meeting other solo travelers like her and participating in group activities was refreshing for her and helped remind her that she wasn’t alone.
“Anxiety triggers vary from person to person. And in this case, for me, my anxiety was high when I was feeling alone or safe during my trip. So being surrounded by other travelers made me feel safe, and that feeling of loneliness went away. Also, making a lot of friends on this trip and having a group I was able to meet people I wouldn’t have been able to meet if I was on a trip. I met friends in the different islands I visited! I remember meeting friends and one of his brothers traveled to every US state on a motorcycle! You start to learn more and see the world in a different way, and at that time, even if you feel stressed don’t you remember.
Kind gestures from locals go a long way in making visitors feel welcome and part of the community. She felt lost and alone when a Wande Grab driver dropped her off at the wrong place in Chiang Mai, Thailand. However, a local man stopped to help her, even walking her to her destination.
“On our way there, I asked her some Thai words that I had trouble pronouncing and she helped me with them. This happened all along my trip! The locals were very welcoming and it felt like home. You don’t even have to be social to talk to the locals, but you should try!”
Another memorable experience was her Thai teacher teaching her how to grind pepper using a mortar and pestle at a cooking class in Bangkok.
“She was shocked when she saw me doing it without rest. such as Nigeria, I’ve used this before at home, so I’m used to it. There was a sense of homeliness in that moment. There are many similarities between cultures that you don’t know about.”
After such a fun trip, Wande is happy that she got over her anxiety and decided to work as a solo traveler around the world. For others suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, Wande wants to share a technique she has found helpful.
“One way my therapist taught me to stay grounded is to think about these 5 things:
- 5 things you can see
- 4 things you can hear
- 3 things you can touch
- 2 things you can smell
- 1 thing you can taste.”
“This has really helped me, especially when I’m short of breath or feel like the world is closing in on me. Then, I always remember why I am where I am. I travel mostly because it brings me peace, so even if it’s a lonely trip, I can do the same if I get the lonely part out of my mind.”
Wande finds it helpful to eliminate her triggers as much as she can, which alone are overwhelming and the FOMO of missing her family and friends. So, instead of being on social media, she focused on enjoying her trip. She exercised during stress. She took a Muay Thai class in Phuket.
So, if you’ve been thinking about traveling solo but are holding back because of fear, Wande recommends taking the leap of faith and going. Chances are, you’ll have a ball, meet new people, and discover lots of new things.
“I met him while riding a jumping horse in Egypt. It was an amazing moment and I know when my mom saw the picture she started praying for my safety. But really, go have fun and do something you wouldn’t normally do! Just remember why you’re doing it. Make sure it’s something you feel strongly about, as remembering the ‘why’ behind it will help ease your anxiety. If you’re worried about safety, remember that no place is really, really safe. You have to be careful wherever you go.”
“It’s okay to fear the unknown. As humans, we all have fears. Your fears will come in handy on your journey. As a result, you’ll be more aware of your surroundings, which will help you stay safe! And remember you can’t fail at something until you try. There is no limit to what you can achieve. why? There have been others who have done it, and if you can do it, you can do it better. This is my philosophy on everything! Also, I don’t recommend reading travel blogs before you travel, but don’t take everything you read or see as gospel. Remember to take everything you read with a grain of salt.
You can also do the following to help with security issues:
- Share your location with at least one friend before you travel.
- Stay in touch with your family and friends so they know where you are from time to time.
- Instead of staying in an Airbnb, stay in a safe hotel.
- For added security, purchase removable locks for your hotel doors.”
“And so much more! Start your solo travel domestically before you fly 10 hours away from home. If you live in the US, you can fly from Miami to Arizona for a weekend trip. Also, don’t start on long holidays. Start solo travel on weekends.”
“Then I recommend planning at least part of your trip (ie, finding things to do, restaurants to eat at, etc.) before you leave. Make sure you have a flexible goal in mind. Don’t plan too much, because in real life, you might not be able to do or see half of what you plan, which can cause you stress. But be flexible and plan some of your travel. This will make you happy about it and help ease your stress.
“Also, I wanted to discuss why solo travel isn’t for everyone. Before embarking on this solo travel journey, I researched several travel bloggers to see how they approached it and what they had experienced. Most of the blogs I read emphasized the importance of self-awareness. After reading that, I decided that when I went on my first solo trip, I needed to pack my books, book a spa treatment, and isolate myself on this journey of self-discovery.
“However, solo travel is about experiencing everything to the fullest. Putting yourself out there is what it’s all about. Traveling and isolation is something you can do in your hometown, so why travel? You must be willing to interact with the locals. It is important to be open to new experiences and try new things in a new country. It’s about expanding your community as you connect with others. Not that you shouldn’t have some time to yourself during your trip! Please read that book or get that massage, but make sure you’re putting yourself out there as much as you can!”
This year, Wande is looking forward to a small European trip and tour. Africa. You can follow her Tiktok And Instagram and her website at www.wanderwithwande.com.
Related: Fight travel stress and anxiety with these 5 essential products
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