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John Keeley
Parents today feel great pressure to help their children find their needs. Social media magnifies this pressure when our friends invest in activities like sports teams traveling to other states, horses, dirt bikes, or backyard trapeze sets.
My memory is hazy, but I think we signed our son up for tee-ball shortly after he learned to walk. I vividly remember coaching one of their teams when an 8-year-old revealed that his parents had hired him as a “batting position coach.” This particular boy, who showed a warm interest, said his parents wanted him to try out for the travel team. I have no doubt that his well-meaning parents were concerned that their son would be left alone if he did not give him all the benefits.
Travel sports started as a way for elite kids to play other elite kids. A 2018 article in The Atlantic confirmed what I suspected: travel leagues are now so common that they’re no longer about elite kids; It’s about enrolling kids whose parents can afford it. I’m not discounting the camaraderie the kids get from going on road trips with their teammates, but we can’t pretend they’re all being drafted or awarded Division 1 scholarships.
I sympathize with parents who feel pressured to give their children the opportunity to have the best experience possible. Our kids have tried baseball, scouts, karate, art camps, photography, soccer, and many other things in hopes of something that sticks.
John Keeley
It’s theater for our son. She has taken dance lessons for years with ever-changing enthusiasm. Things fell into place when we signed up with an established youth theater company. Her first role was as a comedy henchman in 101 Dalmatians. The final week consisted of a grueling six consecutive days of five-hour rehearsals, followed by four ticketed shows. I expected her to be ready for a break. Instead, she was set to go to Broadway. She doubled her dance lessons and added voice lessons. It’s not cheap, but don’t tell that to my college friend who owned not one, but two horses for his daughter in a barn outside of Seattle (his first interest in horses was not racing).
Our son was more difficult to manage. Our philosophy has always been that our children should not be forced to do anything they don’t want to do, but they should. Something. When he asked to make a bow, we took it to Brandon to try it out. (I can confirm, my wife took it because she was afraid I’d end up driving it to Brandon every week.) Turns out, he really enjoys it, and yes, I’m now driving to team practice in Brandon every week. There is some irony in the fact that archery is the only form of “travel archery” and that it is all about his position.
The boy also likes to fish and play golf. Which father would argue? I think the highlight of his young life was catching his first bonnethead shark and winning a tournament at a fishing camp. This has the added benefit of putting food on the table properly. After years of taking group lessons through the First Tee youth golf program at Twin Brooks, he joined the middle school golf team.
Watching our children shine at the things they love is one of the most rewarding parts of parenting. Anyway, my own success is more of a feeling than I’ve ever had. And I admit to being judgmental of parents who travel far for their children’s activities. But if you see me buying a 1,000 pound animal, stop me.
I have nowhere to go.
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